"Could Have" by Wislawa Szymborska

It could have happened.
It had to happen.
It happened earlier. Later.
Nearer. Farther off.
It happened, but not to you.

You were saved because you were the first.
You were saved because you were the last.
Alone. With others.
On the right. The left.
Because it was raining.
Because of the shades. Because the day was sunny.

You were in luck -- there was a forest.
You were in luck -- there was no trees.
You were in luck -- a rake, a hook, a beam, a brake,
A jamb, a turn, a quarter-inch, an instant ...

So you're here ? Still dizzy from
another dodge, close shave, reprieve ?
One hole in the net and you slipped through ?
I couldn't be more shocked or
speechless.
Listen,
How your heart pounds inside me.

Latest Musing ...

It's really been awhile that i actually scribble something here. Sometimes just come to a standpoint feeling if i have to write .. It has to be something meaningful. On the other hand, isn't blog suppose to be something for us to KP whatever or whenever we want ? .. Make up your mind Chandler ~!!

While being totally tied up at work which can be quite choking at times .. Seems like gaiety is far from nearby. Maybe having amnesia as my best friend wasn't a bad idea after all huh .. !!!

Read an article written on Tanya's facebook some days back & was enthralled by the way she writes .. those sentenses, evoked certain degree of emo within as it's quite poignant. Words ... so powerful indeed. After reading, can't help but started to reflect those sweet nostalgia we had.

Exactly 2 years ago, life seems devastating and dreadful to move on after being handicapped by a failed relationship of 7 years. I must really thank my family & many other kind souls for giving me a lift back to where i am again. Looking back, things doesn't seems that bad after all as i rediscovered many things along the way. Though i haven't recollect the courage to fall again, probably explain why i'm still single .. .. think better things are good for a wait.

There's a say, "Ones never cherish the warmth of Spring if ones never been through the cold merciless Winter." Sunshine is within reach i believe hence i just have to brace ahead ... Gambatte ~!

That's all folks .. maybe i'm just writing for the sake of celebrating my 2nd year singlehood hahaha ...

孙燕姿 我怀念的 完整版MV

Recently got hooked with this song. Loved the lyrics which shares my same thoughts as well.

Dinner which is called Reunion .. ~!

It's been a tradition that every year, our family will arrange a reunion dinner held in some resturants with 1st aunt & youngest aunt's whole family ( or should i put as families .. since some of my cousins already got married .. haha ) ...

This year, M Hotel which won the pageant .. Well, the food somehow rather i felt was overly price as far steamboat makan is concerned. However, it's the people that add the extra flavours ~! ...








*Pictures courtesy of Sh3ng Pizture.. ~!

Made in Italy ... ...

While still haven't get over the bereavement of my braun buffel loafers which offically retired last week due to a big hole in the front tip.. ( yea, this pair of loafers carries a lot of sweet reminiscences )

Happened to know Moreschi is having some great sale from Salman hence went over sat noon to check it out. Actually was thinking of having a pair Tod's but no harm having a look over there ya ....

& after seeing & tried a few pairs .. . ... "TA DA" .. ~!!
This is what i got ~!! ... yea, the price is "good" ..haha ..




* Courtesy of Sh3ng Pizture !

Happie 2009 ~!! ...

A steamboat gathering with kofu comrades at Tiong Bahru Plaza after attending New Year Gongyo at ICA ~! .. what a year to start off with. ..



* From the front ..



*From the back ..

When a wedding theme turn very wrong .. ~!!

Yea .. this is the theme for Joseph's wedding on Sunday( School Boys ) ~!! ..
Was trying out the costume with Sheng & "Ta DA" ~!! .. .



* Looks abit like Ronaldo ya .. haha ..



* MEEeeee ~!!!

Bday Present ~! ..

Hey Guys ~! ..Thanks alot for the gifts ~!!! ..

ya , the most embarrassing moment is when i'm having a conversation with my boss in the meeting room & right there was Recept , walking over to hand-delivery a bouquet of flower & a soft toy ( goaty ). .. .. This .. gotta specially thanks Beelin + Peter ~!! ..
(-_-")







*Sencer's present . ... Thanks dude ~!

V8 Vantage

Remember the post regards shoots on Vantage V8 fr BHP group. Attached is it's montage .. cool rite ~!

In remembrance of Lo Hwei Yen.

Yup , would like to dedicate this blog to Hwei Yen & Michael.

Hwei Yen, 28, was among the least fortunated who have been taken hostage & killed in a shooting & grenade rampage at Oberoi hotel last week.

Losing someone close & dear , somehow it evoked the dim feeling within me as well.

The nation will miss you, Hwei Yen .. .




Ikeda sensei's word of encouragement ;

++Qte++

The important thing is to overcome the sorrow that accompanies any type of separation, such as death or divorce. The vital thing is to continue advancing. Do not look back. Just forge on. There are many reasons why people bid farewell to one another. People have their own thoughts and situations. The deep scars within your heart may not heal quickly. Yet brace yourself so you can look forward. You should strive to move on, cutting through the clouds in your heart. As long as you advance, new hope will be born. The sun will rise. Only when you continue to advance can you encounter an even better, more wonderful you

++Unqte++

♥Olivia Ong- Sweet Memories♥

Maybe it's the weather ... runnin low in spirit . ..

Vantage equal Superiority ..~!!

V8 Vantage, hand built by the Brit car manufacturer Aston Martin. The "Vantage" name on high performance variants of their existing GT models, notably on the Virage-based supercar of the 1990s. It's the leanest and most agile car in Aston's current three-model lineup hence, is intended as a more accessible model to compete with other power cars especially directly with Porsche 911.

Was given the opportunity do a commercial shots for BHP Group & .. Wah Lah ~! ... Result of Sheng's & mine teamwork. More to come man .. . so STAY TUNE .. ...



* Fact of the day: I still perfer Maserati's GranTurismo since the price is almost the same ... . "400++K... ~!!!".

Had also attached pic of that car just in case ur're clueless of which model/what car we're talking here .. haha .. ..

Friday Rendz Oct Concert poster

Boy .. Take a look at Zirong's creation ... Almost fell off my seat when i saw this.
Try spotting me haha ....

Need for Speed .. .. F1 nite race .. ~!

Popped by Probulk's office which is situated on 43rd floor of Suntec tower 5 on the actual day race. Having the view of first 3 bends of the 5.067 kilometre track, "damn" it was clear...






* Capturing the moments with Sheng's 70 - 200mm, F2.8 Missed the startoff shoot ... damn . .....



* Crowd Stand.


* The winner, Alonso

Note of Day : I almost puke when the cars dashed past me as it's REALLY DAMN LOUD .. ... the sound ... it's giving me the love & hate feelin ..

Matrimony .. ~!

Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.. . ..
I believed all will agreed with me regards the quote. Blissful moment captured at a Air Base ... . by Sheng & me .. ..

"Chanquan & Huiying's" ..
















* Candid shot ..

Food Cinematography ...

Sheng got an assignment to do up shoots for 1 of food menu. This is his first time doing product shoot hence got me along to assist / provide ideas .. & wah lah ~~!! .. I incidentally became his art director ~!! .. how u fare our maiden collaboration ...??



* Testing .. Chicken cutlet spaghetti .. ..


* finish pix .. . Teriyaki fried chicken cutlet with spagatti


* Sausage Pasta ~!! .. ..







What say ya .. haha .. I think it's cool ~! ... Comments are welcome irregardless good or bad. ciao now ~! .. .

HGC & HGS chapter excursion..

Battling to rouse from bed early Sat morning really not a good thing to try after having a late drinking session @ Grapevine on the day before.

Jameson organized a hiking trip for HGC & HGS , starting from Mount Faber which links to Faber walk & then all the way to Hortpark.. Though the distance is kinda short, but lot's of fun there.


* Gather point


* Steve being arrowed to entertain the crowd.


* In high spirits




* Cool forest walk .. ..


* Snack time ~!!




*Finally .. Hortpark .. ...

David Cook - Always Be My Baby.. Studio Version, Music Video

He rocks .. brought out the meaning of this song. My fave at the moment , enjoy ~!..

Popeye Chicken ...

Had Popeye chicken with the gang last Friday. Well , seeing our facial expression of indulgence .. Believe you can picture how cool the fried chicken must be tasting.

"Damn good lor .."

The day he walk out of me .. .

Was happily eating my waffle while driving & wahlah .. he came off ...

Pissed & helpless ...

Classic expression for love …"My Profession of Love"

Been really lethargic .. haven't got the time to really use my loaf, expressing thoughts over recent occurrence. Hopefully will preserve on after getting the pot heated again ~!..

I happened to spot this rather witty inscription in someone's blog entry which believe most would agreed on .. But with second thought, it's just fool's paradise.

++Qte++

"He may not look anything, but he is a man of something. In the world of love, he is my everything."

"Loving you has never been an act on purpose, it is one of nature. Loving you has never been a choice, it is my destiny."

++Unqte++

Clandestine affiliation ..

After few nites of merriment, it finally comes to an end. They're gone ~! Gone for good ... Finally can have some time of our own & of cos , liver rest .. .




A hearty breakfast to kick start the novel saturday @ Bugis, Chinatown is our next stop of the day. Chinatown was a must go place for Sinja since she fascinates chinese stuffs alot .. Futhermore she heard alot from our s'porean colleague whom was outstation in Lanka office hence dieing to saunter around this historical rich place. The only concern i had, mother fXxker weather .... . .. It hasn't been kind as i'm sweating hell throughout the whole session. (-_-") ...

Katong laksa was next & yes ~! ... we enjoyed it .. .

jamboree ~!!

Finally recovered from my dreadful fever .. Yeah ~!! .. i can fly now haha ..

Boy.. i hate falling sick. Like there's a saying, for those who only fall sick once or twice a year, normally suffer more during ailing period...

Any which way, received some callers from Sri Lanka. Holcim Lanka ~! .. Boy, they sure can party & drink. Actually they were here for 3 day Cemtrade seminar, since my boss whom is handling Lanka market was not around hence "LAN LAN" have to take over the responsibility to host them during their stay here. Well . ... the pics sure tells how i miss my beauty sleep. HEY ~!!! .. i just recovered ah ... where's my beauty rest ~!!


*First Nite dinner @ Long Beach East Coast ... Sidath on left & Chanaka on right.


* Cheeky Face ~! ... courtesy from Sinja.


After the dinner,we headed straight to Eski Bar where we mêlée the bar counter ~! Damage of that nite, $800++ burn on my Amex card.. donno how to explain to boss .. .... (+_+")



* 2nd Nite @ Cafe Iguana with Coolio Salman & Samar in the house. .. Iguana's margarita & nachos rocks ~!!


* Barfly ... see Chanaka's face, can't wait to start bashing of liver ~!!


* Satisfied face .. Bombay Sapphire ~!




* End result ... gone case ~!


Sorry guys, the last nite we went to a place similar like Bollywood in Clarke Q .. so no photo allow & also , our camera gal ( Sinja ) was piss off so didn't attend this outing. "Thanks" to Chanaka, Sidath & Samar ~! haha ... What an outing with them ~!

Under the weather .. ..

Finally, penning down some input after months of soul searching. "RUEFUL" ~!! You should be ~! Bastard little Botak fr being lazy to enrich this site .... (-_-")

Feb - April haven't been smooth , yet ~! ... There's so many issues i encountered & really wanted to share it here but ... but .. but .. .. plain lazy. Since those great men used to say, always look ahead or rather think ahead, i gonna write something of my current thought. At least received a good news this afternoon... Aey ( my Thai workmate ) was expecting .. Congrat Honey ~!!!!

I was down with this dreadful fever since last last sat ( that was 1 & half week ) & it's still haunting my pathetic body.. still having that strange dreadful feeling inside me. Think the culprit likely be Gelare's crusty walffles accompanied by a cup aromatic cappuccino at ECP which i had with Mand while we met up fr brunchie last last sat afternoon.

Spent $100+++ on Western aid which included 2 X vistit + some medication like paracetamol & anti bio etc .. here's the killer slash, $90 on dengue dengue blood test which turns out negative ~!! Nothing seems to be working as the aches just doesn't go away. My mum did the most "wisdom" thing , that is to seek the chinese sensei's formula. Waola ~!! just 2 X visit of $18 did the wonders. Boy .. it really makes me rethink have everything related to the western world starting to get retarded.

Luckily i'm covered with insurance.. . Otherwise, would have cough out blood instead of getting myself recovered. Actually this fever made me realized something, something which many may think it sound stupid .. but for me, it's dead serious ~!!

1) Health is very important hence we cannot afford a rotten body in this modern world as with modern science, everything related to medical will be damn ex if you were to fall ill.

2) I'm really blessed to have someone around me, taking care of .. this almost putrefy carcass.. ever thought of those whom are living alone ? Be it oldies or singles ... must be the worst experience you can get. What can i do to help .. so far no solid solutions but will try to reachout those whom staying alone, need any help can find me ~!! But when i says help.. it means really help ~!! .... not to be FOC maid ~!!

Just some thoughts to share ... ciao from now ~!

Britain's Got Talent - 6 Year-old Connie Sings!

This little gal got me mesmerized by her brilliant vocal. .. I'm really touched becos i don't normally put up 2 music posting but can't wait to share this with you guys ~! Enjoy ~!!

Marie Digby - Traffic (Original Song)

Simple but yet expressive song .. .. yeah, it’s still like parking lot in my head.

"Home" ...

"Home" .. What actually is it's defination ? How ideally this word should be seen & hear as ? .. Have we ever pause to think what if our home wasn't the way it is now .. what if mum & dad are seperated or divorced ... . worse still, what if i'm taken to halfway house.. being a runaway youth ?

Last 2 weekends, was requested to give logistic support for a play plotted by CDC (government)supported non-profitable organization called Team CampVision, held at our SSA's Jurong kaikan. Team CampVision's objective is to nurture kids with different complex backbgrounds, changing their perspective and bringing out their acuity potential to shine against their appalling past. The play was sort of like a graduation event for those kids whom had attended varies workshops, leadership course, camping etc . .. over the past 3 months & the play was the finale event for those involved in the program to showcase to the rest they are not rotten apples which they did ~! .. They really put up a good show man ~!! ... Spirits were reaching zenith ..

For me, though the time spend with them wasn't that long ... i still felt they were marvelously friendly, gracious & of course, most important .. they are willing to make a difference which really touches me. They really deserved my sincerest eulogize .. "Salute" ~! .. All the best to those brave little ones ~! .. . ..

Escapade Switzerland Prt 2 ...

,Day 2 - 4 ... It's not about fun anymore as gotta attend the induction. It's talks after talks & talks again for the whole 3 days. Man ... .. instant brain dead ....


* Salman & I killing some breaktime acting cool... Yeah we are really acting cooool .. cos we're not in our coats despite it's freaking 5 degrees out there . ..... haha .. .




* Traders' Nite, gangs from S'pore, Spain & Dubai trading office hang out in a Scottish Pub in Aarua after dinner. Sahir & Me .. ..


* caught snaking while brainstorming fr presentation.. . haha ..


* Givin Presentation ..


* Plant visit


* Group Pic in Holderbank .. .. Can't really see me rite, becos i'm standing at the corner ..


HGRS ( organizer ), arranged dinner at a quite posh restaurant which have KTV equipments... Boy, were made singing "Yellow Submarine" when it's our table turn..Nevertheless, We had fun.. no worry .. (-_-") ....

24th Jan, our last day in Switzerland, Salman & me checkout our hotel earlier & set off for Zurich Train interchange & intended to head straight to Banhofstrasse after lunch, recommended by Samar. He's one of the 2 lucky one managed to get SQ seats hence due to his flight time .. unable to go there with us. Yah, the other lucky 1 whom managed to get SQ seat is Irene ~!! ...


* "Foodland" or should say "Foodcourt" in S'pore... See, all the fast food chains ... Yummy ~!!
I had Macdonald which is the cheapest among & for your information, there isn't any chilli packs, onli ketchup & you have to pay for that !! Damn .. ..




After lunch, we headed straight for Bahnhofstrasse.. . Bahnhofstrasse is something like our "Orhard Road" with all highend products being showcase in their respective boutiques. Mainly , all branded watch ~!!!











* Bata in Switzerland .. almost faint when saw tat .. haha .. .


* It's a bicycle with 2 seaters ~!! ... cool ~!!




* Lake Zurich .... our last stop of the long walk. it's packed with not human but birds ~!! ... "BEWARE ~!! BOMBARDMENT FRM THE BIRDS ~!! Already saw a few victims when we arrived. Lucky i'm not those lucky ones ... but SALMAN is ~!! hahaha ...


* Can you see the Swiss Alps right at the far end ...

Year of the Rat

Let's Ratatouille fr year 2008...

Escapade Switzerland Prt 1 ...

After recent weeks of harebrained travelling schedules & frantic deadline on work matters , finally am able to update some pics which i've been longing to share with you all.

Was in Switzerland on 19th - 25th Jan , think i shall let the pic do the talking this time. Maybe i'm just being lazy to write down stuff haha ..

Oh by the way, already know who's the Jap whom have been visiting my site. It's really my frenz, Emi .. if you scroll down my previous post, you would have seen her pic. I remember clearly i didn't mention my blogsite to her hence was really amazed when she mentioned it's her who have been viewing my site. Well, maybe it's coincidence some might say, i would rather use "fate" pah .. haha .. Anyway, enjoy the pics below.

Switzerland is really a nice country to live in, provided you must love the "cool" weather there & for some, the late nite free porn channels pah haha ... . The weather there was about 0 - 10 degree when we're there. As for me, man. .. really hope to have such chance to transfer there for a year or so haha ..



* Biz Lounge waiting to board the plane.


* That's the seat of Swiss air, didn'y managed to
get hold of SQ seat... damn sway .. ~!!


* See.. Not only the seat sucks, the food & service sucks too .. Now you all should agree on why SQ is always ahead of other airlines & we (S'porean) should be proud of.


* No need to further elaborate haha ..


* In train to our destination, Wildegg. Also killing time inside the train.




*My travel comrades !! Salman, Irene & Samar ..






*Cannabis inside the tea & it's legal .. my god ~!!


* Yeah ~!! Wildegg .. (It's pronounced as "Will Deck" in Swiss) Thought it's should sounds like "Wild Egg" in english ~!!




* Underpass to the opps side of the street. Love this pic.


* Our hotel at Wildegg ...


* Brunchie at Irene's hotel .. Yah, she's the onli 1 staying different from us. ... in Aarau, a train station away from our's. Don't ask why, we didn't arranged that as we're also clueless on the arrangement too ..




* After the lunch, we headed straight off to Bern for a day trip. Beware.. here we come, the "Three Stooges" to Bern haha ... Irene decide to pass this trip as she's not feeling well.


* Swiss Alps at the back.


* Free giant chess set for the public to ease their boredom during weekend. Try leaving those in parks of S'pore, it will be gone less than an hour..




So long , i will upload more pic for the escapade we have asap.
Ciao now ~!!

らいおんハート, part 2.

After starting this blog site , am really very happy to have viewers from round the world. However, would like to dedicate this MV to 1 particular Jap frenz whom been viewin my blog regularly & really wanna know who is that & know you further. I'm just being curious as i happened to have 1 frenz from Nagoya instead of Toyko hence making me wonder who could that be .. All i know is that this Jap frenz is usin Chubu Cable Network hence i assume should be a province in Toyko. Pls drop me a comment or email me at : chandler_ling97@hotmail.com. Hope to hear frm u soon ~! :)

らいおんハート

Recoil of Simplicity

The four of us were in tremendously high spirits as finally the concert were over hence now able to let loose for a short getaway to Malacca.

Crazily might it sound as on the concert day itself , we're already been shagged out by waking up / reaching ICA early for the final preparation etc. & for your info, the concert ended around 10+pm ... Thereafter a quick dash back home for washup & here we are .. hitting the road straight to 2nd Link & towards Malacca. Actually it's quite a fast ETA Malacca though we reached 2nd Link around 12+am. We arrived Malacca around 3+am.. hmm .. maybe gotta see who's driver pah ~!! ... yeah ~! it's me ~!! hahaha.. .. James took over when we reached Malacca.

As this just a short & last min trip, we didn't book any room as we "thought" able to get rooms upon arrival Malacca .. .Dude ~!!... "WE ARE ALL WRONG~!!" Firstly , we couldn't find the way to that particular motel which we intended to stay over. Secondly, we were amazed by the language used by the roadsite construction worker when we approached him for directions. Of cos , it's supposed to sound mandarin "You straight straight , "POR" to the end ... then you "POR" left go straight & "POR" here & "POR" there etc .. "

The weary foursome aroused with the perplexing looks by his "POR" here & there stuff. Jameson thanked the guy & moved off , turning to us asking "hey .. he just now said turn left or right here ah ?? .. All replied , "donno ah ! .. what we heard is only "POR" here , "POR" there ..but donno where we actually supposed to "POR" to !! " .. we all busted into laughters. Boy that really helped keeping us awake again after that "POR" here & there incident.

We finally managed to locate the motel which we have been searching ,however due to school holiday season .. all motels ard that area were fully taken thus left us with not much choice but to stay in "HOTEL CERATO" ... yes .. it's the white hotel with 4 wheels which bought us to Malacca .. ...Damn malu & pom jack man .. As a S'porean travellin oversea ended up sleeping in own car & furthermore using local petrol kiosk's toilet for the washup the following morning. Haha .... now we are really experiencing backpackers way of travelling.


* Le Miserable


* Aftermath of sleeping in "Hotel Cerato"


* The dudes crossing the road with "Hotel Cerato" on the right ~!!


* Sunrise ..


* The Kiosk where we done our washup ..




* Breakfast ~!


* Satu Jam , 60 sen .. wat the hell .. ..


* S'pore needs carkpark coupons .. damn it .. so does here ~!! Look at Pauline's face , getting impatient ...






* Chicken Rice balls ~!!


* Wat the hell is he standing there for when i'm trying to take pic ~!! Act cool somemore ~!!!


* Roadside Nonya snacks ..


* Does he looks like Steven Lim frm S'pore Idol ?? haha ...




*Artistic pic by Jameson while we're having our "Tokong" chendol in a old shophouse..






* Dinner before heading back S'pore .. ..

Happi Bday Dad ~!

First celebration of the year . .. Happi Bday Dad ~!

Triumph ~!

Sorry guys , really very very sorry for holding up all those updates in custody as i'm really occupied with many stuffs to do up till my neck ... till cannot breathe ah ~!! .. Thanks to year end closing, budgetting & blah blah blah .. . .

Ok , let's start off with Friday Rendz finale concert which was held at ICA on 22nd Dec 07. It's was really a great success as all the performers really put up their best on that nite, not forgetting my fellow committee comrades too.. "Salute" to all involved this concert ~!! Oh ya, the hall was just a few seats away frm being "Full house" ~!!!

It's been months which we all ( committee & performers ) struggled to obtain balances between work, studies, planning & rehearsals. Binding dissimilar individuals advancing towards a single goal, success of the performance to wrap up year 2007. Best part, thought the show was behind schedule hence was praying hard for the slightest blink of hope to void singing as they had arranged committee members to present "Way back to love" as final finale song ... NO~!! ....:( it didn't happen.. so wat can i say, can't convince.. had to join lor ~!!



* Urban Passion, this name suits them so well displaying their attitude toward dancing. And also, very disciplined & humble group whom really deserve extols from others as they really shown that kinda passion to perform for others despite being asked to slot in only in the pre-show , "SALUTE"~!



* Orange Cove, though they are young .. But they rock the stage~!! & my personal favorite band of the nite.



* Raymond & the Unsung Heroes, Kenneth.. Jeff ..& Alvin.. assisting on the music.



* The crowd



* J3 .. .. Superband.



* Peixian and the Unsung Heroes ..



* Performers' finale song, Yi Qi Zou Guo. Thinks that's one of the national day's song few years back. Anyone manage to spot Benjamin, Yi Yuan & Zhi Jie frm Xiao Yuan Superstar ?? .. Yes, he's also one of our member.. But still, my fave singer, lady in poka dot ... Leh Leng, SSA superstar ~!! haha .. .



* Right stage manager , ME ~!!! with Frank.



* Thank You Bow after presenting "Way back to love" .. "Salute" to my comrades ~! Jameson aka Drumer, Si Yi aka Tambourine, Debra, Emily, Wilford, Me aka Tambourine, Sunny & Keiko aka Pianist.



* De-brief group pic for all performers though some of them had already left.



* The backstage Heroes ~ Friday Rendz Main Com ~!!


Guess what , after this concert ... Four of us, Jameson , Pauline, Sheng & me did the craziest thing ... Dashed home for a quick shower & drove straight up to Malacca for a short getaway .. Stay tune for next episode as we have lot's of fun along the way up & back ...

Lastly ... all above pictures were contribution from Sheng as he's the appointed photographer for this event. Many thanks Sheng ~!!

One more time, One more chance Subbed

Fall for this song since my days in Secondary Sch. Managed to find the translated version hence believe you all will understand the meaning of this song. It actually how i felt during the initial months of the breakoff. But now, the big stone had been lifted off the painful shoulder. Burden is cleared ... Enjoy ~!

Happi Bday to me Prt. 2

Remember Emi, Keiko's frenz .. . She scoped up a savory meal featuring her hometown goyza ( fried dumplings ) & fried chicken to go along with rice which looks like korean's BibimBop ( Mixed rice topped with seaweed, donno it's mince pork or beef, cutted veges and some seasoning in it. Yummy , that meal really managed to bank in some sugary memories as didn't managed to eat much due to the full dress rehearsal before that.

Brought Emi, together withWilf, Keiko & Sheng to let her experince the Orchard Rd lighting meant fr X'mas ... She have her share of fun & amusement that nite ..


* Rafffles Hotel



* Grp Pic

Happi Bday to me ~!

Feeling apologetic for not updating my status for quite sometimes hence today had decided die die must drop something down.

Things has been the same for the past weeks , with all hell arrangements of my China shipments which till now unsolve. .. . and also the bursting timeslots to juggle between work, Friday Rendz concert meetings & catching up with frenzs. Lucky my overwhelming leaves comes in handy.

Let me do up a recap from 13th - 18th Dec ....

13th Dec , one of our ship broker ( Sea Trek ) invited my whole company to Hollandse Club for X'mas gathering dinner which i would say, "THE FOOD SUCKS" ... though the overall ambiance still passable ~!! and also, Irene .. our new accountant whom sat next to me was complaining about the food portion. Well , as a petite mother of 2 .. . she really can eat man .. or maybe my stomach had already filled with wines & beers from constant toasting by others.

14th Dec , BBQ at Chervon arranged by Freddy & gang .. ~!! Yeah .. ~!! Donno why , but just love BBQ tat much which i don't mind contributing more time & efforts preparing the event. Supposed to meet Marcus ard 10:30am at Great World for the shopping of ingredients and stuff needed that night but "HE IS LATE" ... & making me waited fr about an hour or so. Evening event was cool , we had great food .. unlike the usual satays & chicken wings, our's were far more unique with lamb chop, beef steak, homemade cha siew & so on . .. sound more like a international BBQ cuisine. How can this event goes without liquor to merry the mood. We had champagne, beer, brandy, whiskey & red wines .. . almost meet an accident while way back home man . ... Well, as i'm catching flight the next day hence couldn't stay back to rest despite abit tipsy .. ..

15th Dec , was at BKK with one of my working buddy ( Samar ) attending my closest workmate in Thailand ... Aey ( Unravee ). We were in fact honored being invited to attend her wedding. Finally she's married off, believe she will have learn to be more lady like liao in order to contain her husband .. haha ... .



16th Dec, headed down to SYC after touching frm airport at noon to do up some planning discussion and souvenir preparations for coming concert on 22nd Dec.

17th - 18th Dec, as i'm still clearing my leaves starting frm 19th Dec .. mann ... i think i haven't been working so hard as those 2 days ... U can actually feel as if ur squeezing half a year job to be clear within 2 days ... that's the kinda feeling ... haiz ..

19th Dec, initially was thinking how am i gonna settle my Bday and boring this's might be .. "NO" am wrong ... had many surprises coming along way. Lunch was accmpied by the gang , Wilford .. Jameson & Sheng. We had quite an expensive lunch in fact as we are having load of stuff onto the table. Damages , a burn pocket & gaining extra 10 pnd i assume. While on way fetching Keiko, Wilfod & Keiko's frenz whom came from Japan, Emi ... we meet an accident. The details were too long fr me to put it in here. Lucky the motorcyclist & people inside the car is ok. .. A surprise Bday cake were arrange at TSC by Ivan & the Friday Rendz committee & the performers. Wah , i'm very very touched. Many thanks to your all guys ~!! At least there's something to cheer up for the day. All of ur think thats all for the day, ur'r wrong then. Will update on the next blog. Too tired ....

Ciao now ~!!

Little Britain: Dafydd meets Elton John

Somthing hilarious to brighten the blues of monday ~!

Towards pits of melancholy

Sat was too great a day to pass. Jameson organized a BBQ outing for HG chapter held at Pasir Ris Park which we had lots of fun there .. gulping down all those scrumptious food prepared by our lovely WDs / YWDs. Though this outing started off quite bizarrely early ( morning around 11+ am ) & last till abt 5+ pm as most of them have something on in the evening, it's a good occasion for us to strengthen bond between different districts of HG chapter. I always like BBQ cos that's where bonding are buttress.. having fun setting up the pit, grilling stuffs & mingle around the group etc...

Evening met up with the gang ( Jerry, Ah Boy, Aloy, Freddy & Chriz, Jay, Marcus & Kelly ) at Breko to discuss our forthcoming BBQ chalet gathering on 14th. Yup, it's meant for 5 person whom bday falls on month of Dec & i'm 1 of them haha .. well though it's not the actual day to celebrate mine, believed will be a fun filled day. .. But will also gonna be a hectic weekend for me as friday fr BBQ chalet, Sat fly BKK to attend a colleague's wedding over there & sunday need to touch down S'pore by afternoon to able me attend another discussion in evening. Another topic covered was Freddy & Chriz's big day next year... The rest of "KUKUs" ( Jerry, Aloy, Ah Boy, Marcus & Jay ) got all those easy tasks as F/C's wedding committe while i kanna "EMCEE" .. again ~!!! What the hell man .. , lamest reason ... "no better choice other than me ~!!!" How could that be .. ... Well after rounds of negotiation, they still stood by their choice ... "YOUR that nite ~! i'm gonna make sure your happy nite be a crying one to remember !!" Threatening i might sound to them hahaha since they assigned such a cruel task to me .. ~!

Today Mum & Dad went to Ah Hua's child full month celebration in evening. Bought back were some awful leftover foods & an excruciating news. She mentioned that Jenn seems to be seeing someone as that was some assumption by Sis. Jenn always visit Sis's saloon when we are seeing each other & till date she's still goes there which i just learn of & rather surprise too. She was always seen busy on sms while obliviously showing those blissful smiles. Mum pushes me to settle the pending house issue as construction of it is about to complete hence likely be paying heavier penalty if we were to reject the house when it's ready. Mixed feeling , how to bring up this topic to her ?? ... though this just a speculation, would feel jubilant for her if she really have found her new blossom... Deep frm my heart..


Ikeda Sensei's quote of the day ..

++Qte++

Everyone born in this world has a unique role that only he or she can fulfill. Were this not the case, we would not be here. The universe never acts without cause; everything invariably has a reason for being. Even the weeds people love to loathe serve a purpose. I might add that every cherry blossom has its own personality, a purpose and meaning in life that is unique to it--as do the plum, peach and damson

++Unqte++

Friday Rendezvous .... ..

Being in the Friday Rendz committee for quite sometime by now, contemplation to causative more always been there since it's my very first involvement in SSA activities hence really wanna make it a good start.. .

The last Friday Rendz mini concert starring me as the Emcee really broaden my perspective about challanging one's limits ( well ... one of mine is .. stage fright ~!! ) as hardly can u imagine me standing infront of many, spurring the crowd into merriment .. .. It's not that bad after all , once getting into thickskin mode .. at least i had my share of fun ya ~!! Am really looking forward for Finale concert .. 22nd Dec , that's the date .. for readers who are interested, pls drop me a msg either msn or email.


Ikeda Sensei's quote of the day..

++Qte++

When your determination changes, everything will begin to move in the direction you desire. The moment you resolve to be victorious, every nerve and fiber in your being will immediately orient itself toward your success. On the other hand, if you think, "This is never going to work out," then at that instant every cell in your being will be deflated and give up the fight. Then everything really will move in the direction of failure.

The important thing is to take that first step. Bravely overcoming one small fear gives you the courage to take on the next.

++Unqte++

Assail on the Lanka crabs, take cover crabbie ~!!

As my leave balance still overwhelming , thanks to all weekend travelling which number of leave kept increasing... hence decided to clear some by this month & next month .. took a day off on last friday.

Initial plan on friday was to have a whacking session at gym follow by a chillout tanning by the pool ( maybe a swim as well ) ... not forgetting a brilliant cup of coffee at ECP accompany by my unfinished book written by Daisaku Ikeda & Ipod. NOooo . .. it didn't happen ~!! ... Thanks to my snake king buddies Jameson & Wilfred. Both were performing their M.I.A stunt from work since it's a friday hence they decided to include my presence as it's a rare case for me to be away from work during weekdays. Well , we did had lots of fun cork session.

Saturday started with the usual morning run at Pasir Ris Park with my gay partner ( Jameson) haha ... . followed by a hearty brunchie togther at Changi V ... Evening is the time to look forward for, we have a new member in the house .. Sharon finally decided to joined us for the gathering at coffeeshop situated in AMK which it's famous for their crabs. Hence it's a crab carnage nite to remember. A nice latte at the Mac cafe nearby conclude our mini jamboree that nite. Look out for our Dec BBQ chalet, 14th Dec .. believe be a funfill event through need to rush a flight the following day, attending a wedding celebration at BKK ~!!

Ikeda sensei's quote

++Qte++

Iron, when heated and pounded, becomes a fine sword. Likewise, Buddhism teaches that our true strength and potential cannot be forged without hardships.

The important thing is to overcome the sorrow that accompanies any type of separation, such as death or divorce. The vital thing is to continue advancing. Do not look back. Just forge on. There are many reasons why people bid farewell to one another. People have their own thoughts and situations. The deep scars within your heart may not heal quickly. Yet brace yourself so you can look forward. You should strive to move on, cutting through the clouds in your heart. As long as you advance, new hope will be born. The sun will rise. Only when you continue to advance can you encounter an even better, more wonderful you.

++Unqte++

Orange Range - Sayonara

Cool clip ~!

Like Jap version of "Ghost" .. Well .. Though it's a sad thing he's dead but at least he's there to watch over her .. ...

Frail ...

Throat got sore, nose running hell ~!! ... Thats the end products for consecutive late nite outing since having a super duper long weekend.

Life never been that marcho before on last thursday ya . .. Was at Woodland sport hall for some gym whacking session & a swim after that with Jerry & the gang. Yes, u never read wrongly .. It's "WOODLAND" sport hall ~!!! Didn't Hougang have sport hall & swimming pool too .. . Well , the fact is "WOODLANDER" don't really flood their gym unlike people staying hougang ... So, since cannot convince the crowd... gotta join them. Trust me , after the terkan session .. was starting to feel as if like "Incredible Hulk" in the making haha ..

Sat , was conned to watch "SAW IX" .. Damn was that show gruesome ~!! .. Was left with not much option since the ticket already bought. Psychopathic ~!!! Maybe should start my killing too haha ..

Sun , was at SYC the whole afternoon with the crew for Friday Rendz rehearsal & planning discussion. Nothing much different ... same laughter devised by Jameson & Wil, well boy i really enjoy the time there. Hope we didnt mess up the place ...

Haiz .. day after sunday till now .. . nothing much i could think of to spur some writting. What left is the fatigued body with tons of mucus brimming out my norstril ~!! Well , it's time to respite back to land of invigoration. Anyone wanna FOC gift ?? My mucus might come in handy haha .. ~!!

The weird encountering of despondency

Actually haven't been feeling great lately. There's certain degree of annoyance inbuilt over the past few days & just doesn't know why. Trigger point, almost freak out after so many times of try uploading the previous post "Pachelbel's Canon In D major" from Youtube. Kept receiving rejection mail posted back to me .. hey Youtube ~!! Better do something about it man ~!!

Watching the rerun clip, flashback of all those sweet moments we had vividly resurface. Yes, tears rallying around my eyes & start dousing my cheeks like they have forgotten where's the stop button is. Thought i already had lucid & coincide to reality. But the true fact is i'm still struggling. Manageable may it seems or assume, well ... maybe i'm just being scarred too deep, need more time maybe ..

Well , since now i had let it off .. time to embrace myself up again ready for the long march , up the mountain toward the peak of happiness.


Happy Deepavali ~!!
Ciao now..

Pachelbel's "Canon In D" , My Sassy Girl Version

My Sassy Gal.. Have special affliction on this love comedy. 1 particular scene is about Jun Ji-Hyun playing Pachelbel’s "Canon in D" while Cha Tae-Hyun walked up to present her with a rose infront of whole tutorial group. Such naïve expression of love, makes me start pondering about our past sweet memories. Believe many would yearn for same sweet moment too.

Cry ..

Cry . ..it's the expression that encompass various meaning. May it be glee or despondency, tears which douse our eyes & cheeks .. something that triggered by feeling deep from our heart. Those whom eventually cries after a setback are those who will erudite & grew just like a child learning to walk better after each fall.

Cry, by Ah Niu .. this song was sang by Qingyao at Jameson's house sometimes back during my days of disenchant .. . Listening , trying hard to skirmish those tear of melancholy from falling. Thinking back, maybe that's reason why she's able to made this choice .. for those tears which were made sheared becos of me in past. So with the saying what's comes around, goes around .. . now it's my turn. And .. i'm still learning ..


歌曲名：哭 曲 : 阿牛 词 : 阿牛

以前我看到朋友哭 我很羡慕
可是我怎么逗我自己 怎么弄我自己
我的眼泪都流不出

总觉得能够哭的朋友 都很幸福
能够把满腔的无耐 满腔的痛苦
让泪水带走

最苦是泪水在哽在心头 流不出
就像要爱却不懂得怎么去爱
自己哭过后才明白流过泪的眼睛
将生命看得更清楚

只有真正懂得付出的人
才懂得何 为哭 为何哭
再坚强的心偶尔也会脆弱
心会痛 心也会感动

只有曾经真心付出的人
才懂得何为哭 为何哭
泪水要记得为真心保留
眼泪别白白的流

ถิ่นกำเนิด เอม ถิ่นกำเนิด ( Home Sweet Home.. .. )

sà-wàt-dee khrup .. ..

Yup, was away for the past few days to "Land of the thousand smiles". With daily sleeping hour of only average 4 since sunday till thur ... i'm really bushed. "POMJAK AH~!" .. .

Facing many logistical constraints for the past months which causes our vessel stuck at loading port for many damn days.., Yen ( supplychain manager from Holcim Vietnam ) under my portfolio, decided to pay a visit to our sister company in Thailand, transporters' jetties & Kohsichang anchorage area to further understand the situation. In another word, i had resume status of being a "social escort" for the past few days bringing him around all those places. Can't really imagine how i survive through this trip, rooting your butt day / nite onto the backseat for hours going around destinations ( thanks to the traffic condition in Thailand ) & also struggling to respond those abundant emails which besieged my blackberry ..

Haiz .. .maybe the only solace i could think of is my room in JW Marriot, hmm .. maybe also my sŭay mak ( beautiful ) Thai colleagues whom helped organized & accompanied us for this tour pah .. . Oh ya .. of cos, the candlelight dinner with them at the lake too haha ~!!



* Koh - Sichang Island ~!

Converse effect of munificent love

Time really is intriguing. Never will it halt for a jiffy while we humans still obscure from how weeks just passes by that fast. Whether for good or bad causes, it chooses to remain incessant.

Actually am quite lost as in where to start off since been missing weeks of update due to tight schedules like work, gatherings & discussion / planning for our forthcoming friday Rendz finale concert in Dec. Well, at least am quite jubilant about how those time was used on.

Last Thur - Sat, renown musician, Mr Shunzo Uhno, held his performance at ICA. Friday Rendz committee's members were asked to help out on this big scale event which we of cos agreed without any vacillation as this also a good chance in helping us accumulating experience in handling event for our own coming concert. Yup, We had great fun at the same time too~!!



* The performance ..
( This pic was taken by Sheng, the offical event Photographer )



*The backstage crew with Mr Shunzo Uhno, ya .. there's tat Botak ~!!



By the way, Sat was also Sheng's Bday which the gang had some surprise lineup for him at Pasir Ris Park after the concert.




* Brotherhood ~!!



*Birthday song please ~!! hey ... don't get mistaken,
It's the Bday Boy who gotta sing for us ( Gakkai standard ?? )



* Terkan session, no hand to finish off the pie ...


*Group foto ... damn i look fat on this pic ~!!


Oh ya, you all remember the mail which i sent out from Lanka ?? Well, she got it .. How i know ?? Through insider news of cos .. but damn i was mad .. i'm gonna curse that recpt ~!! Was made to pay US$4 for the postage & being told nothing else more was needed to ensure the letter reaches it's destination. However, was told that Jenn ended up collecting the mail from Singpost due to insufficient postage ?? I almost fainted when i heard this & mannn .. the first thing crosses my mind was " Shit ~!! she must be damn piss .. to waste time collecting it frm Singpost thinking it must be something important however turns out to be some rubbish sent by me " .. .. Apologetic i must be & immediately sent her a short sms trying to express my contrite regards this incident. Well, as expected .. "No Reply !! " treatment .. Haiz ... . .Nevermind, .. At least i know she's moving on well & never been happier .. . i'm contented.

You Needed Me③-Anne Murray

This oldies was quite meaningful. I always hear this song played many time on the radio but only get to know the singer's name recently.

Enjoy ~!

What a Saturday ~!!

Jogging seem had become a regular affair, was at Pasir Ris Pk for morning jog with Jameson. Nothing much different apart of struggling behind Jameson's trail trying to catch up his pace. He can really run man .. though he's a smoker .. . Well, maybe should say i'm weak loser pah .. haha .. .

After the run & breakfast, it's back to work again .. haiz .. had so much shitty stuffs recently & squashing my very last drop of brain cell to write some emails of protecting my ass from being buttered during weekend .. Oh Shit !!! I'm late for appointment... I got so carried away with work & actually forgotJameson was already downstair waiting for quite some time. We were suppose to be at Wahraku ( Cuppage Ctr ) attending a meeting for the grand finale rendezvous event held at HQ ICA on Dec. He's one of the committee member hence invited me to sit in this meeting for some comments & opinions .. Not soon did i realise i had incidentally became 1 of the committee member as well... *Diao * .. so see me in action from now till 21st Dec, more happening to be update as seeing the kinda affiliation ( bickering.. ) Welfred have with Jameson .. will have lot's of jokes to come.

A farewell party for Sandy was held at Lervanda's house since her parent was not around & mann .. . by the time reached home after this event .. my battery was already in negative territory, in fact would say already dead~! Ya .. Hope her house remains in tag by the time her parent comes back from their holidays haha .. .. Though Sat was a great day, something still missing, oh.. i know what's missing already, i miss her. ..


*Our table~!!


*Group photo ..

Gorgeousness Ceylon ..

With the recent mayhem causes by LTTE, flights to Colombo hence had changed to day which means had to wake up in usual working hour timing.. damn ~! Still thought can relax abit, flight going there used to be in the late evening .. ..Had to heave my ass off the bed earlier preparing my luggage which i failed to do so the day before thanks to the late night drinking session.

Itinerary went smooth and managed to reach T2 on time despite the unexpected heavy downpour. Has the habit of checking in earlier so that i could loiter around & indulging myself with good drinks/snack in the Biz lounge before boarding the plane. Yeah .. can quote me insatiable, i don't care ~!! hahah ~!!!

Time to board the plane & was genially welcome by the door crew & was led to my seat by this sweet stewardess, can't remember her name... but she's damn chio lor .. haha .. What to look forward during flight ?? Inflight moives & dining of cos ~!!


*Smoked salmon & potato salad



*Tenderloin with mash

Didn't managed to snap the pic of dessert as was too full to have it hence had to make a pass this time, will get it next time round.

Time was 12:45hrs (LT) when i touchdown Colombo airport & was picked up by my FOS agent before we headed straight to Galle. From Colombo - Galle takes about 5 hours during dayride due to the bad traffic hence will gonna be a long route for me man .. so the conclusion of the story, i wasted whole damn day sticking my ass glued to seats ( flight & car seat ). Oh ya, by the way FOS = full of shit .. so you know what i mean.

* On way to Galle in Hell driver FOS agent's car.

* Lighthouse, Galle .. where i'm gonna stay haha ..

*My room...


* Garden yard, it's where inspired me to write her a letter.. ..
My first ever oversea letter send out carrying my well - wishes
& love to that someone i missed alot.


*The lounge area.

Usual dinner with the acquaintances before we hit the road ... . .. Well, i scored home run cos i'm damn tired. Almost missed my breakfast the following day as i overslept. Proceed to port after that.

*Standard buffet at Lighthouse .. ?? No, i'm on diet haha ~!

*Galle Port


*MV "Sea Crown", haiz...problem vessel .. thats y i'm here ...

Day passes fast & before you realise it's been a week being "sunshine boy" staying onboard under the sun observing bloody vessel's discharging operation. Time to abscond, felt so happy coming back to S'pore.

*On way back to Katunayake International Airport

Recap of alfresco grapevine before Lanka Trip .. ..

Finally .... able to do up some recaps for the past weeks of activities.

Hmmm ... let me see when to start off from ?? Hmm, let me think .. let's start from 23rd Sept pah. Was coddling myself over a good bottle of Macallan with usual camaraderie made up of Big Brother Su ( Yiwei ), my Bitch ( KarHoe ) & Sheng. There's this bistro called Grapevine which situated opposite Upper S'goon Shopping Ctr hence believed most easterner should know or heard off as well. For your GK, grapvine can also means gossip ... so Wahlah ~! this place is meant for gossips as far the name sounds & suggested ~~! .. haha ...

It's kinda cozy chillout place without dress code boundary and affability of their service crew that attracts me for recurrent visits. My god, we drank till about 2am & was supposed to catch an early flight the next day to Sri Lanka but haven't even pack my luggage ~!!! Below was some magic touches from Sheng with his D200 for your eyes' pleasure.







Will update my lanka trip on the next post ~! ciao now .. Zhou Kong is waiting for me . ...

Fatigue.. ...

Oh my god .. . . felt being bashed in the night. Thought of calling the ambulance to salvage the wreckage body in the morning. Ouchhh .. . Ouch .. . ..

Actually was out for a run yesterday late morning at Pasir Ris park with Jameson & Sheng. First run since 1 yrs + back, hmm m ... needless do i need to further elaborate how feeling twinges all over my body. Leading a life of gluttony & decadence in past, finally decided enough is enough .. must find back figure 8 contour ~!! So see me more often at park frm now pah.. Jah Yoo ~!!!

Spent the night revelry in a KTV pub situated inside Ponggol Marina again with Jameson, Pauline & Sheng. Man .. it's some donkey years since i last been there... what can i say, seeing her transforming from the prestige yatch club to current neighborhood community center look alike status ... .. Another flop case to bring water lifestyle to S'pore ~! "Sigh" .. ..

How can the rendezvous ends without a late night supper as closing ... .. Prata ~!! Thomson Rd Prata ~!! ... The damage .. fatigued brain & weary body on the following day.

As usual, last paragraph is reserve things related to "her"... Thursday was a nervous day for me. Thought of showing some gratitude to her parent for the past years of good care hence specially got the folks a box of Teochew mooncake for this coming mid autumn festival. Upsurge of pounding heartbeat as i'm getting near the destination, but still .. i have to proceed. I'm glad i'm able to face this obstacle.. & felt i did the right thing .. Yeah ~!! We had a long nice chat regards everything which had happened. But that wasn't long enough for me to see her back home before i left .. ..

Time .. ..

Like what my "DEAR" friend, Freddy, quoted before "Time waits for no man". Day passes like hasty blinks but things just hasn't been right .. .. feeling something still missing .. .. just can't really figure out why ~!!

What happened way back then still reiterate my mind. So clear & delirious which makes me feels as if it just hit me like yesterday. God ... I hate that kinda feeling ~!! Maybe like many says, wounds needs time to heal. But when will this wound be healed i thought to myself as seeing it constantly bleed despite many measurements already taken. It bled the worst during the tranquil of night falls.

I'm currently reading a book written by Daisaku Ikeda, A piece of mirror. It covered many topics about his thoughts on various issues we "human" face. Would like quote the following which i think it's good to share.

++Qte++

Real love is not two people clinging to each other; it can only be fostered between two strong people secure in their individuality. Love is not two people gazing at each other, but two people looking ahead together in the same direction.

++Unqte++


While still in search for my serenity .. hoping everythings could get better as time passes. Having said the above, it's just a kinda hope many would like pursuing after. Time .. please show some mercy on this poor fatty botak !

But reality bites ~!! Cos today work sucks ~!! I'm constantly having issue with this particular barge owner "Pan United". Never fail will they point their finger at me for all the screwups esp on slow discharging of cargo though this time round, it's the weather !! Raining heavily for the past days which i can't do much right !! I can't be Bruce Almighty or Evan Almighty to control weather .. damnnn i thought while on the line with their chartering manager. Haiz , tomorrow will be a better day which i'm gonna look forward for.

So bye from now ... ~!!!!

Kinship.. ..

Was up very early this morning to pay my last respect to someone whom i don't really know of ( Mrs Woo ). For the past few days, am attending a funeral wake of a decease whom i don't really know of. Many may think if you don't know the person, how come you still go or what's the big deal ??

Actually, she's one of the members from SSA who belongs to my mum's district chapter hence to show support & see what i can help over there .. i decided to give a go to attend the wake.


Often in funeral wake, we have the impression of noisy beating of drums, trumpets & irritating clinging of bells with either a group of taoist priest or monks reciting some sutras over & over again through wee small hours. But what i saw over there was very different. .. nothing came close of the above mentioned did i relised. Chairs were placed in orderly row manner for members to sit on. There's no priest nor monks, just members either helping around arranging chairs & tables, guiding peoples to seats or most were doing , chanting devotedly for well wishing of the late Mrs Woo.

Some left after giving their last prayer & some stay on & followed to Mandai crematorium. I'm one of few who followed. Through the decease was not someone close to me, somehow rather .. feeling poignant. Think maybe it's becaused of grief which had fills the atmosphere. The decease's family must be also feeling very agonize over losing someone close & dear i thought. Someone ever quoted to me that boyfriend / girlfriend can still be replaceable if they are gone no matter how painfully the broke off can be, however not for family / relatives as once they are gone .. you uable to find someone to replace him / her status.

As many are too focusing on chasing after material needs, we sometime fail to pause & look back awhile. Looking back at something which is there all the time for us to take along. That's kinship .., it will always be something which is the least they could think of / prioritize. This event had really enlighten me .. not only on helping others esp on someone you don't know, but also understand what is kinship.

代替 MV

The lyrics is very meaningful which actually kinda speak my thought.It's from movie, 881.

Hope you all will enjoy ~!

Just another day ..

Day passes with not much differences . Still feeling perturbed .. . I really don't know why. It's isn't easy to put on smiles during daytime as it's isn't coming out frm my heart i thought. But things just gotta move on.

Work still the same shit different day affair as far as my account is concerned. Always the hand to mouth situations , issues on cargo availability by the shipper & vessel delay claims etc .. . But well, am paid handle those hence what's there for me to complain ya ~! Positive !! Positive ~!!

Yesterday was a day to remember .. attending my first voluntary daimokuki ( prayer ) at Jameson's house for Qing Yao's coming operation on this friday. Why i must say this is a day to remember is because never have i attended such meeting in the past as i never like going for such activities .. could have spend my good time hanging ard with friends at cafe or pubs instead. But thinking back seeing how he & the group organized prayer at my house many times after working hours to chant for the sucess of my dad's operation, such altruism really inspire me to attend this daimokuki .. furthermore this prayer is meant for him. I really experience my many first time recently .. my first time attending daimokuki, kneeing on the floor to chant for 1hrs + for well wishing of others instead of praying for my own problems. The kinda of satisfactory, i really don't know how to describe. Actually , i always wanted to do some voluntary work like helping some old folks or orphanage homes, just that always think only ... no action. Finally , action for this time & think i really like what i'm doing now. Helping other ..This kinda of satisfactory is not that kinda money can give & it's always when u actually D.I.Y , then you will relise & agree with me.

Reached home about 11pm & have a quick shower before learning from younger bro ( think more of getting him to do haha .. ) how to beautify my blog site .. really thanks alot Sheng ~!

When silent of the night settle in, thoughts of how's she's doing lately crosses my mind. Heard she haven't been taking proper meals due to work pressure. Hope she can take good care of her health as her's hasn't been that good wit most complaint of aching here & there . . ..

Bye from now.. . gotta get back to work ~!! Haiz ... .. (-_-")

What i really wanna ~??

Sunday might just be another usual day which i would have prepare myself to accompany my parents + younger bro for the sunday morning prayer at Soka Tampinese HQ. But this time, there's more meaning to it... It's about my personal challenge to pull back myself through the chanting of nam-myoho-renge-kyo after the recent blunder in my love life.

To many might wonder, ur're really sure Chand is really into religion or just to go there & see mei mei .. attending sunday prayer ?? Actually not really... the initial intention is to try spend some quality time with mum, dad & my younger bro . .. boy ~! waking up at 7+am every sunday is no joke for a urban lamer like me as what most of us always says .. SUNDAY LEH .. WANNA SLEEP MORE ..

Normally after the morning gongyo, we can be found at the coffeeshop nearby HQ having breakfast with the usual group whom mum & dad would hangout with. They will chat heartily on almost anything while waiting for the food to be serve. I don't really like seating down there for hours, but seeing my parents esp. dad is having a great time there. ... by the way, dad's circle of friends has shrunk since the day he went for ops & quit drinking hence think most of his so call acquaintances had stopped asking him out .. Thinking of this, it's kinda makes me feel .. "ok .. so long they are happy, don't rush them to finish their food & push them to hit the road early. " So the damage is hours of seating there listening to their coffeeshop "politics" ~!!

My bro & mum also setup a dialogue for me with Chang Quan during the breakfast session. Normal can the dialogue be at first, when he start asking how's life recently .. i paused awhile & said .. "I'm fine .. job .. doing so so ... & oh .. just broke off with my gf last 2 weeks ago." Well as expected, he would says & asked most of people will says don take it too hard & so on ... but one sentence he asked really gave a knock to my thought. "Do i really know what i want for my life ? What is my mission for being in this world ?" .. Since last few weeks of some reflection, i still cannot answer this question as in what i really wants for my life .. so in short , for 28 years.. i have been living without a goal. Thoughts of her sudden appears in my mind & i replied him "i won't be what i am without her around for the past 6 + years. She has been my source of motivation for who i am now."

We chatted for quite some time & some of his comments still linger in my mind like, "have i really use my heart to do & feel things ? The recent setback might have been a good thing for you as now at least you know how shallow you have been living & it's time to really use your heart to feel & think instead of your mind only ", he qouted. "Your relationship might also be the same case as you failed to use my heart to make it stronger hence it's not surprising to see the breakoff." To all extend , i would say i agreed with all he mentioned & told him, yes .. and it's too late for me to relize it while i could have done much more better.

To be honest , if not for the recent blunder, i wouldn't have relized actually i'm surrounded with people who really cares & loves me as much & are always ready to give unlimited support & that i actually failed to relize & took them for granted till this very morning. Sad to say but it's true .. you can called me kinda bastard for putting my relationship before them. Never will they crosse my mind when everything are happening so brilliantly & when hardship arrives, peculiarly .. they always shows up without fail to lift me back from the point i fall. Well .. at least i know now rather than never.

Deep in my heart , i'm really very thankful for what they have done for me in the past weeks & i'm ready to take this challenge of my life. Lastly , now i really understand what's it really takes to love someone. It's not necessary to have or own her by your side, by letting her go free & happy is also one way to love.

Grieve feeling still ...

Surviving singlehood isn’t really my forte .. I’m more of preferring companionship kinda species. Am trying really hard to occupy my time for more things which I may have missed for the past 6 years. .. .. but spending days after days of reflection, can’t really think of what I actually dieing to do but does have the chance to do it.. ..

Now with more free time , on Thursday I had decided to lame home & of cos also recouping my thoughts. Watching local TV channels wasn’t what I will normally do as kinda feels local productions sucks nowadays. But, was amazed by this channel 5 series .. . Stories of Love, The Anthology series 2.

The title of that episode which I watched was called, My Promise, starring Lim Kay Tong & Teo Yann Yann of 881 movie.

The story was about Peter & Emily. Peter got to know Emily in a park and was captivated by her beauty & intended to approached her. As running was Emily's life , she said she won't date someone who stop for breathe .. As for Peter , he had a secret but in order to win the lady whom has send him captivated , he run & run hard to get her.. Eventually they got married. Peter had retired early however Emily still works, & maintaining a very active lifestyle, and was constantly jogging & participating in marathons. Peter , whom prefers to chill out.

Emily wants Peter to run with her during one marathon because it falls on their fifteen anniversary. Peter was at first reluctant because the secret he harbors was intended to reveal during the anniversary day but when he saw how much running means to her , he agrees, and promised to run with her.

However, he broke his promise a few months before the run and bought a set of good home entertainment systems & wanting to hold Emily back from running the marathon on that very day. As usual , Emily went for her daily run but didn't make it home that day .. she met with an accident & passes away. Peter was devastated & blaming himself for her death. Resolved to keep his promise.. he trained hard to run the marathon for his wife knowing he has heart problem. He has kept this secret from her because he remember Emily ever said she won't date someone who stop for breathe .. He turned up on that day just to find out the run was cancelled. Thinking of his promise , he started to run the route meant for the marathon despite his friends' strong disapproval due to his heart condition. Because he had made the promise to run for his wife on the anniversary. He eventually completed the run & upon touching the finish line , he fell & drop dead feeling great that he had kept his promise for his love one.

It's been ages since i ever drop tears.. i'm human .. Upon seeing that scene, tears start to fall. This scene start rendering my thought about how many broken promises i made to her .. if i had kept my promises .. things won't be this way. I cry hard .. really hard after so many years. At least , i know now i'm keeping some promise made to her .. let her free & be happy if i really love her.

First Post ~!

Finally .. After creating this blog address for such a long time before i actually drop something here.

Recent days have been the toughest period of my life as i finally had to let go something precious & dear to me which i used to own for the past 6 years + , Her . ... whom wasted her prime time on someone who keep hurting her over & over again.

After days of thoughts did i relised i had never done enough to salvage this wreckage. I could have done better to mend the initial little hole created by me instead , i created mess over & over again resulting this painful experience.

We had a very long & good talk yesterday , and outstanding issues seems to settle in place. We never had a talk which could last more than 10 mins for the past 5 years , yet ... this 1 hours + talk seems so precious to me like never before.

The sweet memory are here to stay but agonizing future to carry on. Seems lost of direction at the moment , but life still have to goes on. Goes on with a painful lesson learned.